Does It Feel Like You And Your Partner Are Speaking Different Languages?
When disconnection and arguments replace the love and laughter you and your partner once shared, life can feel lonely, frustrating and empty. Oftentimes, couples get caught in a cycle of arguing and struggle to hear and understand each other – never mind meet each other’s needs. It’s not uncommon for couples in turmoil to feel like they’re walking on eggshells and fear speaking their truths. Bottled up emotions might explode into major arguments, leaving both partners feeling even more angry and defeated. You may feel powerless to make changes, and wonder when you and your partner stopped functioning as a team.
Many Couples Experience Turmoil And Struggle To Connect
Almost every couple struggles at some point in their relationship. In fact, it could be argued that it’s part of the human condition to trigger and be triggered by our partners. A primary reason people get into relationships is to have unmet needs filled. These unfulfilled needs and related wounds usually stem from childhood and can end up projected onto and/or triggered by our intimate partners. It’s as though the triggering of old wounds should happen in relationship – giving people the opportunity to work through them and become whole in relationship.
Furthermore, while the honeymoon phase of a relationship is usually blissful, once it passes, the first few years of marriage are the most difficult for most couples. And, then come children, career aspirations and the struggles and stresses of daily life. Schedules become busier, and partners grow apart. All the while, people live with the illusion that they should be able to juggle everything and still maintain a deep romantic connection.
Whether your relationship is a little rocky or you are truly losing hope, couples counseling can help. Your relationship can be improved. With the help of an experienced therapist and the right approach, you can shift out of destructive cycles and reconnect with your partner.
Couples Counseling Can Help You And Your Partner Hear, See And Understand Each Other
Whether you and your partner desire to increase your levels of connection, improve communication, find more depth and passion or focus on specific conflicts, the experienced therapists at Dr. Dori Gatter and Associates can help. For more than 20 years, we’ve been helping couples get to the core of their issues, find effective solutions and build a healthy, connected and meaningful path forward.
In sessions, your therapist can help you and your partner understand why you chose each other. People often unconsciously choose partners who challenge them in some deep way. Your therapist can help each of you uncover your old wounds and current triggers and explore how those emotions are playing out in your relationship. Once you understand how old emotions are presenting in your current relationship, you can get to the heart of your conflicts and find new paths toward deep healing and harmony.
Your therapist can also help you identify, explore and address the issues that you continually bump up against. You can learn healthy ways to resolve conflicts, creative problem solving skills and ways to break free from power struggles. In couples counseling sessions, you and your partner will also have the safe space to communicate needs and desires – to both speak your own and really hear the other’s. So often, couples are speaking different languages. In couples counseling, you can both start speaking the same language or, at least, start learning your partner’s well enough to have connected and meaningful exchanges. You’ll also learn effective tips, tools and techniques that can help to deescalate conflicts, improve communication and enhance intimacy.
It is possible to have the relationship you’ve always wanted. With help and the willingness to look deep within and grow as individuals and together, you and your partner can work through your issues as a team, foster a deep connection and build a healthy, strong and supportive relationship.
While you may believe that you and your partner need couples counseling, you still may have questions or concerns…
We tried couples counseling in the past and it didn’t work. How is your practice/approach different?
Rather than dealing with surface issues, our therapists are trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, which teaches you how to mine for what you and your partner’s true needs are and how to meet them. Your therapist will help each of you explore how you’re contributing to what’s not working in your relationship, as well as to discover what’s holding you back. You each only have the power to change yourself. However, couples counseling gives you the opportunity to better understand and support each other as you engage in powerful personal work. Furthermore, we have a 98 percent rate at helping couples work through their issues and stay together.
I’ve heard that couples counseling can take a long time.
We invite you to look at couples counseling as a valuable investment in not only your relationship, but also in yourself and your family. In just an hour and a half a week, you and your partner can give yourselves and each other the opportunity to find more meaning and connection in your relationship, communicate with more ease and stop the cycle of the reoccurring fights.
We also understand the demands of busy schedules, which is why we offer evening appointments and couples workshops and retreats on some weekends.
I’m worried that our therapist will side with my partner and I’ll feel more disconnected and frustrated than I already am.
We are committed to providing both you and your partner with a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which no one is made to be “bad.” Our role as therapists is to help you work on yourselves and strengthen your relationship.
You Can Have The Relationship You’ve Always Wanted
We invite you to call our office for a free 15-minute phone consultation. We’re happy to discuss your specific situation and to answer any questions you have about couples counseling and our approach and practice.
**Suggested reading: Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
I offer private couples retreats in West Hartford or will travel. Oftentimes a private couples retreat can have a profound and positive impact on your relationship. We can get to the root of the issue and tackle them quickly in this format of a few days rather than months of counseling.
Who is private couples retreats for? Couples who:
- don’t have time in your busy schedules for regular weekly sessions
- would like the opportunity to have dedicated focused time to work on the relationship without the everyday distractions – are in a long distance relationship or travel frequently
- need privacy due to having a high profile